The differences in children can be so vast that it boggles the mind. Simple things like the way they eat and the way they play prove it’s true: no two are alike. So it comes as no surprise that they must be disciplined differently as well. For Cooper all it takes is a rational explanation, but Brisco is determined to keep things interesting. From always attempting to get the last word to learning every lesson the hard way, this kid is certainly preparing to make life a challenge.
When little boy Brisco was a little bit younger, it seemed he knew just how to get us in a tizzy. Each time he was corrected, he had a “But…” or a “Well…” just waiting in the wings to defend his behavior.
We tried to control his endless excuses by accepting one simple response to our chides: “OK.” However, he has since learned to anticipate our admonishment, and it seems he will use this comeback to quickly cut-off his parents’ counsel, even before we’re finished giving it. He’ll throw out a lively “OK”, and with a smile on his face, hurry along with his business.
And the number of times this child has refused his parents’ forewarnings are far too numerous to count. From hot stoves to hot wax to the crack in the refrigerator door-apparently if pain doesn’t accompany the admonition, a parent’s warning is simply unheeded.
I know all about truth and consequences and letting kids reap what they’ve sown. Lucky enough, it seems the cause and effect of almost any situation has a way of finding my baby and teaching him the lesson no time out or leather belt could ever match.
Small lessons that even Cooper can comprehend are far more effective when they come crashing down around him. Last night, for instance, I told Brisco not to shoot baskets on his goal when there are clothes hanging from the rim. He decided not to heed my warning until the five-foot goal, wet laundry and all, came tumbling over on top of him.
Other lessons, while somewhat painful, are still best learned the hard way. And if I’ve told him once I’ve told him a thousand times, we don’t go outside naked. But he refuses to listen and has the absurd inclination toward playing outdoors in the buff.
Aside from the laws of modesty and decency, I’ve tried to explain that a boy could get hurt playing unprotected from the elements in these late-summer days in Oklahoma. He refuses to listen, playing happily in the bushes, grass and dirt-enjoying being one with Mother Nature.
I had mixed emotions, then, when he came inside last week, itching and scratching from head to toe. It seemed the mosquitoes had found his stark-naked body the perfect milking ground for their last feast of the season. I hated to see him all spotted and whelped, and I felt my heart sink at yet another lesson he’d chosen to learn the hard way. But in spite of my feelings and empathy for the boy, I felt a twinge of satisfaction knowing that he had gotten just what he asked for. I reminded him gently and with a great big hug that “This is what happens when we play naked in the yard.” Through his tears and discomfort, he simply replied, “OK.”
While a parent can often let logical consequences be her guide in raising children, there are certain times when we simply must intervene. We’re just not willing to let a steak knife to the toe or a semi to the face be a teacher to our sweet baby boys.
So when curiosity calls and the devil on his shoulder is tempting him to go against the laws of nature and the commandments of mom, I pray that my child will use a little more discernment and a little more restraint. I hope that he will hear his mother’s voice giving sound advice in his head. And I certainly hope his big brother is nearby, to yell for help if it’s needed.
But most of all I hope we can teach him to rely on the counsel of those whom he loves; to trust that mom and dad will never lead him astray; and to believe that sometimes in life, there’s a better way than the hard way.
And that’s All in a day’s work!
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