Time passes

It’s unbelievable how quickly time passes. If you don’t believe me, just grab last year’s family album and wander through the pages at random. You’ll see clothes that no longer fit. Shoes that have long since been laid to rest. Baby fat that has been replaced by slender cheeks and longer legs.

Take a moment or two to gaze upon your screen saver as your digital memories pass at random across the screen. There are homes you no longer own. Cars you no longer drive. Loved ones you no longer see.

When we are young, it seems the days are endless. Weeks drag on like years when we are waiting for Christmas, our next birthday, summer vacation. Why does it happen, then, that when our children are young, time moves so much more quickly? If I wasn’t already aware of this phenomenon on my own, I was reminded yet again by our oldest this past weekend.

As Randy and I were leaving Oklahoma City after a long day of shopping, my phone rang; it was Cooper.

Cooper is a child who is most like his father: he speaks only when necessary. So for him to be calling must mean something is up. And as soon as he spoke, I knew something was.

I could hear my mom in the background trying to build him up, get him to smile. But as soon as he spoke, I could hear it in his voice. He was about to cry.

I had a pretty good idea what had happened just from listening to my mom and knowing my son as I do. You see, he has a certain odd (as I see it) attachment to his teeth. When he discovered his first tooth was loose, he was leaning forward, from the back seat of our parked car, looking in my rear-view mirror. I looked over my shoulder to see him in tears at the mere thought that his tooth might be thinking of going somewhere.

And sure enough, when it finally did decide to come out, there were a few more tears shed for the loss. The second was no different, and the third…the one he was fretting over this time…well, it seems to have followed suit.

I, of course, am proud and excited as I try to get the details from him on the phone. Through his tears, he tries to tell me how he had a sock in his mouth and Brisco was pulling on the other end and it yanked that tooth right out. At least I think that’s what he was trying to say.

I tried to console him from 100 miles away, but it was all for naught. And I had to admit as I hung up the phone, that what I really wanted to do was cry right along with him. For the loss of that tooth. For the passing of time. For the empty space in that little-boy smile.

As I sat listening to the hum of the road and the ramblings of Bob Barry, I wished for a moment that time could stand still. Yeah, I know. It’s only his teeth. But before I know it, his feet will be as big as his dad’s, he’ll be wearing deodorant (I hope), and he’ll be telling me how he’s planning to grow out his hair like all the other cool kids get to do. Hold the phone, folks. I’m not quite ready.

But what else is a parent to do? We can’t keep them young forever, and who’d really want to anyway? He still needs help in the bathroom, he can’t yet tie his shoes, and a lifetime of blowing someone else’s nose? No thanks. But oh, for that baby-faced smile!

In the end, we really have little choice in the matter. Time passes. Life moves quickly. Kids grow up. Pull out your old family album. You’ll see what I mean.

And that’s All in a day’s work!

A holiday shopper’s guide to motherhood

After listening for days to crazy talk about bargain hunting and purchase power, I’ve decided that motherhood isn’t all that different from holiday shopping. From the mere thought of planning for the most essential “purchase” of our lives to the moment we must wrap them up and give them over to independence, the journey is an up and down battle that can leave us wounded and scarred and desperate for a moment of peace…much like a long day at the mall. The interesting comparison, though, is not how similar the two experiences are, it’s the fact that by keeping an eye on the prize, a mother is sure to bask in what promises to be an amazing journey, and in the process, she just might make it through the checkout line alive.

The experts tell us to make our holiday shopping lists well ahead of schedule, to map our route and budget our money. Characteristics of any great planner. Likewise, is the mommy-to-be who starts making her “shopping list” well before the big event. At age 12 she knows for sure that she’ll have two boys and two girls, “…and the boys will come first so they can look out for their sisters and…” By age 21, she has made a list of her unborn children’s names, birth weights and possible career options. Instead of waiting for nature to take its course, she knows how many months each child will be apart from his subsequent sibling, the color of his hair, eyes, probable shoe size, and potential IQ. (Planning is good, but isn’t there something to be said for the element of surprise?)

As time has passed and technology has advanced, holiday shoppers are now able to take advantage of Smartphone apps and social shopping sites, empowering consumers in new and innovative ways. So too, has technology advanced motherhood through 3D and 4D ultrasound imaging. It then drags her through the crazy uncertainties of parenting an infant with the support of Google and Ask.com and fellow, mommy-bloggers who seem to know her plight all too well. And finally coming to her aid is a mother’s modern-day lifeblood: email and the social networking sites which seem to be the only way to stay connected to her sanity and former life through those demanding toddler years. Stay steady, mothers; you’ve got mail.

At last the biggest shopping day of the year arrives: Black Friday. The day following Thanksgiving. The beginning of the Christmas shopping season when retailers open as early as 4 a.m. and offer promotional sales to kick off the longest and most maddening day of their careers. Shoppers wait in the cold, endure road rage, buyer’s remorse and open themselves up to potential bodily harm should they encounter the wrong holiday shopper on a mission. In a nutshell, Black Friday is a mother’s equivalent to dealing with instant gratification, sibling rivalry, neighborhood bullies, and adolescence all rolled into one. Ho, Ho, Ho.

Finally, the worlds of holiday shopping and e-commerce collide to give customers what they really want: Cyber Monday. A day when money-savvy consumers can get all the goods, at great prices, without leaving the safety and comfort of their own homes. And isn’t all that exactly what we mothers want as well? To revel in the comfort of knowing that we can provide “the goods” for our children--knowledge about the important things in life. It simply takes sacrificing a few short years--a reasonable cost--all in the name of maintaining a warm and safe place to call home. Cyber Monday, baby. Bring on the reindeer.

So it would seem that the ultimate holiday purchase isn’t a 42 inch plasma HDTV with surround sound for $449.99. It’s more than the perfect pair of Marc Jacobs riding boots for half of half of half. No, the ultimate investment is not made on the busiest shopping day of the year. It’s made everyday that comes before and every moment that comes after. So when you are standing in the checkout line ten customers deep at 11 o’clock at night on Super Saturday, make sure what you’re buying is worth what you’ll get in return. After all, motherhood’s not about the purchase. It’s about the prize.

And that’s All in a day’s work!