Choke up

Some of the cutest and most hilarious comments in life come from our innocent children. I’m always amazed at their perspective and their interpretation of events and things in their world.

For instance, Cooper has decided that his curly-headed cousin has “wrinkled hair”, and that his mom’s “kind of looks like a bale of hay”.

Brisco is busy deciphering the many catch phrases that sneak into our daily conversations. He was practicing hitting the baseball one evening and although he was getting close, he was still missing on every swing. I couldn’t convince him to switch to a lighter bat, so I told him to choke up on the one he was using. He looked at me for a second and then immediately lifted his bat, turned his face toward the sky, and let out a great big cough.

It took me a minute before I realized what he was doing, but then I saw it, as plain as the big, yellow bat in front of my face. He was literally, “choking up”.

As I thought of these things, I came across a collection of similar statements by other innocent, young minds and thought they were certainly worth sharing.

Jack, age 3, was watching his mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked, "Mom, why have you got two? Is one for hot milk and one for cold?"

Melanie, age 5, asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

Steven, age 3, hugged and kissed his mom goodnight. Then he said, "I love you so much, that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

Brittany, age 4, had an earache and wanted a chewable aspirin. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked, "How does it know it's me?"

Susan, age 4, was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again," she said. "It makes my teeth cough."

Diane, age 4, stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked, "How much do I cost?"

Marc, age 4, was engrossed in a young couple that was hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"

James, age 4, was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.” Concerned, James asked, "What happened to the flea?"

Jamie, age 4, was listening intently to the minister one Sunday morning. This particular Sunday, the preacher began, “Dear Lord,” with his arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued but at that moment sweet Jamie leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill, little girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"

And that’s All in a day’s work!