Sometimes in the world of parenting, we only have a moment's notice to react to the situations our little angels create. Whether it’s a broken glass or a broken heart, we parents have to learn to think on our toes, or feel the pain of getting them smashed where we stand.
One of the best ways to parent, I believe, is to learn from someone else’s mistakes. So I’ve made a few mental notes for all those parents who, like me, are still in training.
-Nothing can make a parent feel like strangling their child more than the phrase, “NO FAIR!”
-A close second to the urge to strangle the offspring would be the impulse to apply duct tape to the mouth at the sound of, “I’M NOT PLAYING!” directly following the phrase, “NO FAIR!” (We are currently working on a more appropriate resolution to both scenarios.)
-Sarcasm really is wasted on four and five year old boys.
-While the phrase, “two a piece” sounds self explanatory, to a little kid on a sugar high, it’s not.
Me: “Brisco! I said two a piece! No more!”
Brisco: After shoving at least four Tootsie Rolls in his mouth to his cousin’s one: “Mom! I don’t know what that means!”
-Four year olds don’t realize it’s not ok to glue stuff directly to the wall unless you tell them.
-The word “maybe” means nothing. They prefer a yes or a no.
-Every once in a while, the answer to an everyday question might not render the response you expected.
Me: “What did you do at school today, Coop?”
Cooper: “Hmm. Well, they checked our heads again.”
Me: (choking on my own spit) “Oh really? Again? What were they looking for?”
Cooper: “I don’t know.”
Me: “Well, did they find anything?”
Cooper: “Not today.”
-Air-guitar in the middle of Wal-Mart is pretty funny for the first five minutes, but after the 200th time through the first four measures of “Bad to the Bone,” fellow shoppers begin to shoot air-pistols in the direction of your child.
-“A couple” and “a few” are much better understood with a specific number attached to them.
Me: “A few more minutes and then to bed.”
Cooper: “How many is a few?”
Me: “A few. Not too long.”
Brisco: “Is it like 20 or 40?”
Me: “No, it’s like a couple.”
Cooper: “How many is a couple?”
Brisco: “It’s like eight or 16.”
Me: “A couple is two. A few is three or more. You now have approximately thirty seconds to get to bed.”
Brisco: “What is a pox matey.”
Me: “Never mind.”
-Being happy that everyone in your house is able to dress themselves means not complaining when they show up at a basketball game looking like rodeo clowns.
-While to many, peeing in the gazebo might seem like an understood “no-no,” it really should not be taken for granted as such.
-For the most part, the boys don’t really know I write about them in my articles. It was brought to my attention last week that someday, they might not appreciate all the embarrassing stories I tell. But the way I’ve got it figured, when they start trying to raise their own kids, these stories will be all the explanation they need as to why in the middle of their utter chaos, Grandma can sit back silently, and smile.
And that’s All in a day’s work!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
“Birthday letter-number six”
Dear Cooper,
Today you turned six. Unbelievable, I know.
The past year has brought many new and exciting experiences for you and our family. Whatever age you are as you sit reading this right now, I’m sure there are many events that stand out, and others that you may have forgotten. Hopefully this letter will serve to jog your memory…and mine…as we recollect special moments and “true stories” from our past. Someday, you might even want to pass them along.
To begin, just after your fifth birthday (for Halloween last year) you wanted to be Batman. And I, against your daddy’s better judgment of course, got you a “store bought” costume to wear. We went trick-or-treating with the Smith cousins in Sterling before the big family Halloween party/Mamaw’s birthday party. It’s quite a tradition, one of which I hope you’ll have many fond memories for years to come.
Aunt Carol let you borrow an old Power Ranger costume that she made years earlier for your cousin Clay. You wore it to school for your Halloween party. Funny thing, we saw one just like it in the store this year. I doubt it lasts as long as Aunt Carol’s has.
The weather began to change, and we were all happy to have a sunny day to enjoy on Thanksgiving at Mamaw and Papaws. You kids had fun riding the barrel train, playing in the barn and jumping on the hay bales, which as you can imagine, was a game that scared me to death. Especially when I discovered that one of you had gotten stuck in between two giant bales.
With the cooler weather brought the falling of the leaves and the fun you and your brother had running and jumping and diving in the piles we raked up in the yard. This was the fall that you got your first bike from Uncle Glendon. You had no idea it was one he had salvaged from the city dump. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It was a great bike. Still is today.
I knew when you got that bike that the training wheels wouldn’t stay on long, and sure enough, on my birthday, another beautiful Sunday afternoon in December, we took you to the ball field with just two wheels, and you learned to ride right there on the infield dirt. Pretty sweet.
Christmas 09 was the year of the hat. I think between you and Brisco, you got five ball caps and two coon skins. And Santa brought you the telescope you asked for. (Next time, ask him to send along an elf who’s really good in science.)
This winter was the year the lights went out, and stayed out for about a week. We stayed at Martha’s where it was warm with Grandmother and Uncle Max. This is when he taught the two of you to play poker. We enjoyed watching the snow fall, and couldn’t believe how easily the big branches broke right off the trees in the yard. You boys really wanted the tree in the middle of the backyard to fall because it’s the one that always blocks your homerun shots. Sorry. That hog is still standing.
This year brought little things to relish, like playing in the rain and discovering that the Easter bunny lays really big eggs. And they’re pink. Like discovering the Winter Olympics and the game of hockey, which can be played just as easily indoors with a Nerf baseball and a light saber.
Like trips to the mountains for hiking and picnicking and finding giant bird baths on top of huge rocks. Like Granma Camp and family vacations and seeing your first big league ballpark.
And then, of course, there’s the important stuff. You played your second year of coach pitch. Second base was your usual position. I think the most fun you had all summer was the night you got to catch. Nervous and amazed, I watched through squinted eyes. And as is often the case with you and the game of baseball, when it was over, I simply had to shake my head.
Starting Kindergarten proved to be more traumatizing for me than it was for you. You never have much to say about your day when I ask, other than “good”, so I just take your word for it. I never saw a kid who wasn’t starving when he came home from school. I usually have to beg you to have a snack. (Someday I’ll think back on that last statement and call myself crazy.)
What about life beyond Kindergarten in Sentinel, OK? Well, after enjoying another season as Reigning World Series Champs, our beloved Yankees fell short in the playoffs this year. But you are still pretty pumped to watch the Giants and the Rangers in the 2010 World Series games.
Gas prices are hovering at $2.79 a gallon, which means you should start saving now if you expect to drive yourself to college in the year 2023. I also paid $3.67 for a gallon of milk this week, so you might hit Uncle Billy up for a good price on one of his milk cows. (That is if your craving for a nightly trough of cereal holds up.)I’d inform you of a bit of the politics of the time, but frankly, I’m too annoyed to bother. Besides, you’ll have a good history teacher in a few years. I’m sure he’ll fill you in.
Technology is a powerful force in our world today. You’ve told me the part of your school day that you like the least is computer class. It’s possible that in ten years, you won’t know how to live without one. Cell phones are currently about the size of a half of a grilled cheese sandwich. By the time you get one, they’ll probably be the size of black-eyed pea and implanted into the side of your head. And you know we’re not gonna pay for that.
One thing that hasn’t changed much in the last six years…and won’t change much more for the next 60 or so…is the way your momma loves you. More than warm sun on the face, a cool breeze through the air and a baseball leaving the ballpark. More than our beloved Yankees. And yes, even more than your favorite chocolate brownies.
Happy birthday, Coop.
I love ya,
Momma
And that’s All in a day’s work!
Today you turned six. Unbelievable, I know.
The past year has brought many new and exciting experiences for you and our family. Whatever age you are as you sit reading this right now, I’m sure there are many events that stand out, and others that you may have forgotten. Hopefully this letter will serve to jog your memory…and mine…as we recollect special moments and “true stories” from our past. Someday, you might even want to pass them along.
To begin, just after your fifth birthday (for Halloween last year) you wanted to be Batman. And I, against your daddy’s better judgment of course, got you a “store bought” costume to wear. We went trick-or-treating with the Smith cousins in Sterling before the big family Halloween party/Mamaw’s birthday party. It’s quite a tradition, one of which I hope you’ll have many fond memories for years to come.
Aunt Carol let you borrow an old Power Ranger costume that she made years earlier for your cousin Clay. You wore it to school for your Halloween party. Funny thing, we saw one just like it in the store this year. I doubt it lasts as long as Aunt Carol’s has.
The weather began to change, and we were all happy to have a sunny day to enjoy on Thanksgiving at Mamaw and Papaws. You kids had fun riding the barrel train, playing in the barn and jumping on the hay bales, which as you can imagine, was a game that scared me to death. Especially when I discovered that one of you had gotten stuck in between two giant bales.
With the cooler weather brought the falling of the leaves and the fun you and your brother had running and jumping and diving in the piles we raked up in the yard. This was the fall that you got your first bike from Uncle Glendon. You had no idea it was one he had salvaged from the city dump. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway. It was a great bike. Still is today.
I knew when you got that bike that the training wheels wouldn’t stay on long, and sure enough, on my birthday, another beautiful Sunday afternoon in December, we took you to the ball field with just two wheels, and you learned to ride right there on the infield dirt. Pretty sweet.
Christmas 09 was the year of the hat. I think between you and Brisco, you got five ball caps and two coon skins. And Santa brought you the telescope you asked for. (Next time, ask him to send along an elf who’s really good in science.)
This winter was the year the lights went out, and stayed out for about a week. We stayed at Martha’s where it was warm with Grandmother and Uncle Max. This is when he taught the two of you to play poker. We enjoyed watching the snow fall, and couldn’t believe how easily the big branches broke right off the trees in the yard. You boys really wanted the tree in the middle of the backyard to fall because it’s the one that always blocks your homerun shots. Sorry. That hog is still standing.
This year brought little things to relish, like playing in the rain and discovering that the Easter bunny lays really big eggs. And they’re pink. Like discovering the Winter Olympics and the game of hockey, which can be played just as easily indoors with a Nerf baseball and a light saber.
Like trips to the mountains for hiking and picnicking and finding giant bird baths on top of huge rocks. Like Granma Camp and family vacations and seeing your first big league ballpark.
And then, of course, there’s the important stuff. You played your second year of coach pitch. Second base was your usual position. I think the most fun you had all summer was the night you got to catch. Nervous and amazed, I watched through squinted eyes. And as is often the case with you and the game of baseball, when it was over, I simply had to shake my head.
Starting Kindergarten proved to be more traumatizing for me than it was for you. You never have much to say about your day when I ask, other than “good”, so I just take your word for it. I never saw a kid who wasn’t starving when he came home from school. I usually have to beg you to have a snack. (Someday I’ll think back on that last statement and call myself crazy.)
What about life beyond Kindergarten in Sentinel, OK? Well, after enjoying another season as Reigning World Series Champs, our beloved Yankees fell short in the playoffs this year. But you are still pretty pumped to watch the Giants and the Rangers in the 2010 World Series games.
Gas prices are hovering at $2.79 a gallon, which means you should start saving now if you expect to drive yourself to college in the year 2023. I also paid $3.67 for a gallon of milk this week, so you might hit Uncle Billy up for a good price on one of his milk cows. (That is if your craving for a nightly trough of cereal holds up.)I’d inform you of a bit of the politics of the time, but frankly, I’m too annoyed to bother. Besides, you’ll have a good history teacher in a few years. I’m sure he’ll fill you in.
Technology is a powerful force in our world today. You’ve told me the part of your school day that you like the least is computer class. It’s possible that in ten years, you won’t know how to live without one. Cell phones are currently about the size of a half of a grilled cheese sandwich. By the time you get one, they’ll probably be the size of black-eyed pea and implanted into the side of your head. And you know we’re not gonna pay for that.
One thing that hasn’t changed much in the last six years…and won’t change much more for the next 60 or so…is the way your momma loves you. More than warm sun on the face, a cool breeze through the air and a baseball leaving the ballpark. More than our beloved Yankees. And yes, even more than your favorite chocolate brownies.
Happy birthday, Coop.
I love ya,
Momma
And that’s All in a day’s work!
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Campout 2010
Our family has started a tradition. Once baseball is over and the weather cools, we pack our gear, load the pickup, and head to the creek and our favorite camping spot for our yearly family campout.
It started a couple years ago, with at least one of the boys was still in diapers, and we’ve done our best to make it there and back-alive and in one piece-at least one time every fall. This past weekend was the big event.
Now, I’m a lover of nature and campfire coffee and good conversation that lasts well into the night. But I’m no farm girl. I like to stay warm; I avoid things that offend my delicate sense of smell, and…well, I’m a big fan of indoor plumbing. Beyond that, I can handle most anything that they throw at me out there in Comanche County.
That said, I have discovered that as the boys grow, I’ve more to worry about than just the cool night air, the pungent aroma of day old cow manure or “making my own bathroom in the woods” (as Brisco says). I’ve got boys. And as they grow, these boys become, at least in their own minds, invincible, with no limit to what they can find to get into. So much for the peace and serenity of nature.
So on our adventure this year, the campout of 2010, I saw, heard, learned and experienced enough of the great outdoors to last me until next year. I’m already looking forward to it.
1. Work before play. Especially on a campout.
2. Just because you bring them mud boots to wear on the creek, doesn’t mean they will wear their mud boots on the creek.
3. Just because they wear their mud boots in the creek doesn’t mean their feet will stay dry.
4. There is no limit to the number of socks a mother should pack for one night of camping.
5. To do list: invent disposable socks.
6. Who needs a tent to go camping? Just string up a tarp between two pickup beds and call it cozy. Redneck cozy.
7. There really is nothing like seeing your baby curled up and falling asleep in his daddy’s lap in front of a blazing campfire.
8. I do believe our youngest is a pyromaniac. Once the fire was lit, he was dead set on burning every stick on the creek…one at a time.
9. Cooper can literally sleep anywhere.
10. Who says “city girls” can’t shoot a BB gun?
11. Seeing the four year old come up the side of the creek bank with no shoes on is never a good feeling.
12. I am officially the only voice of reason at the Smith house. I caught Cooper and dad just moments before the creation of a chancy contraption which would have had my babies swinging from one side of the creek to the other--a good 30 feet across and 20 feet down--from an old, decaying tree limb on a 15 year old rope. The voice of reason lives on.
13. Repelling is our newest adventure, albeit a simple, slightly more dangerous version of the sport.
14. All the encouragement a little boy needs to be convinced he can climb a big tree is for his mother to get up and do it first.
15. If there was ever a question as to how many marshmallows Brisco can eat at one time…we are currently sitting on a dozen…and counting.
16. Thanks to modern technology, we can still enjoy a Yankee win, even while camping in the middle of nowhere.
17. There really is nothing like a homemade breakfast burrito, prepared in a cast iron pot over a hot fire. You’ll be feeling it for days. Thanks, Uncle Ryan.
18. Brisco’s highlights? “Walkin’ the creek, roastin’ marshmallows, rope swing and climbing the clift.”
19. Cooper’s? “Climbing on the clift, walking across the creek on big logs, and seeing minnows.”
And that’s All in a day’s work!
It started a couple years ago, with at least one of the boys was still in diapers, and we’ve done our best to make it there and back-alive and in one piece-at least one time every fall. This past weekend was the big event.
Now, I’m a lover of nature and campfire coffee and good conversation that lasts well into the night. But I’m no farm girl. I like to stay warm; I avoid things that offend my delicate sense of smell, and…well, I’m a big fan of indoor plumbing. Beyond that, I can handle most anything that they throw at me out there in Comanche County.
That said, I have discovered that as the boys grow, I’ve more to worry about than just the cool night air, the pungent aroma of day old cow manure or “making my own bathroom in the woods” (as Brisco says). I’ve got boys. And as they grow, these boys become, at least in their own minds, invincible, with no limit to what they can find to get into. So much for the peace and serenity of nature.
So on our adventure this year, the campout of 2010, I saw, heard, learned and experienced enough of the great outdoors to last me until next year. I’m already looking forward to it.
1. Work before play. Especially on a campout.
2. Just because you bring them mud boots to wear on the creek, doesn’t mean they will wear their mud boots on the creek.
3. Just because they wear their mud boots in the creek doesn’t mean their feet will stay dry.
4. There is no limit to the number of socks a mother should pack for one night of camping.
5. To do list: invent disposable socks.
6. Who needs a tent to go camping? Just string up a tarp between two pickup beds and call it cozy. Redneck cozy.
7. There really is nothing like seeing your baby curled up and falling asleep in his daddy’s lap in front of a blazing campfire.
8. I do believe our youngest is a pyromaniac. Once the fire was lit, he was dead set on burning every stick on the creek…one at a time.
9. Cooper can literally sleep anywhere.
10. Who says “city girls” can’t shoot a BB gun?
11. Seeing the four year old come up the side of the creek bank with no shoes on is never a good feeling.
12. I am officially the only voice of reason at the Smith house. I caught Cooper and dad just moments before the creation of a chancy contraption which would have had my babies swinging from one side of the creek to the other--a good 30 feet across and 20 feet down--from an old, decaying tree limb on a 15 year old rope. The voice of reason lives on.
13. Repelling is our newest adventure, albeit a simple, slightly more dangerous version of the sport.
14. All the encouragement a little boy needs to be convinced he can climb a big tree is for his mother to get up and do it first.
15. If there was ever a question as to how many marshmallows Brisco can eat at one time…we are currently sitting on a dozen…and counting.
16. Thanks to modern technology, we can still enjoy a Yankee win, even while camping in the middle of nowhere.
17. There really is nothing like a homemade breakfast burrito, prepared in a cast iron pot over a hot fire. You’ll be feeling it for days. Thanks, Uncle Ryan.
18. Brisco’s highlights? “Walkin’ the creek, roastin’ marshmallows, rope swing and climbing the clift.”
19. Cooper’s? “Climbing on the clift, walking across the creek on big logs, and seeing minnows.”
And that’s All in a day’s work!
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