Taking things for granted

One day, many months ago, I was walking behind my oldest child into a building. Seems an easy enough task, but apparently my one, fatal mistake was looking away for the split second that it took for the door to nail me right between the eyes. That’s the moment I realized that when one is raising kids, absolutely nothing should be taken for granted.

There are so many things our little wonders simply don’t pop into this world already knowing. That fact seems logical. But sometimes we parents just don’t have a clue as to the magnitude of information about which they really don’t know until it hits us square in the face. Literally.

For example, when our boys started making trips next door to visit Ms. Corbin, I would walk them over. As they got a little older, I would stand at the door and watch them go. The first time they made the trek on their own, I stood observing as my two boys calmly and quietly walked up to the front door, opened it, and disappeared inside. Now in some circles, this might be called breaking and entering. I’m thankful Ms. Corbin is on the “kid friendly” side of the law.

It’s a simple mistake, or so one might think. But these social faux pas just seemed to be piling up. It’s one thing not to know that when you are the first person through a door you hold it open for those behind you. But not knowing that you must knock, be recognized, and be asked to come into someone’s home is a little too obvious. But maybe it’s not, for a couple little boys.

Yes, some errors are small and easy to correct. It seems logical that if there is always a trash bag in the trash can, that there should always be a trash bag in the can. And that if for some reason there is not a trash bag in the can, one might want to wait to dump his palate of wet paint or the remains of his supper plate until there is a bag in the can! Alas, once again, I have taken these things for granted. Still, a relatively simple slip-up to amend.

But the day, not so long ago, that I could not find my four-year old for a good five minutes—which is actually a lifetime to a mother with a missing child—was a slightly bigger blunder that would require my immediate attention.

I was working in the house doing my busy, stay-at-home-mommy things. I left Brisco playing alone, checking on him every couple minutes or so as I walked by, putting up laundry, picking up toys. The last time I saw him, he had gone to the back yard to retrieve his favorite race car. I watched him as he went, digging through that sandy bucket he’d dragged out from inside the gazebo.

I made another trip to the back of the house with yet another pile of clean clothes to put away, and when I returned, he had moved from my sight. I looked out the door and hollered his name, but he didn’t answer.

Not yet worried, I figured he’d come back inside without my knowing, so I made a quick walk-through with a hand full of clean socks, checking for him as I went. When I didn’t see him, I decided to take a closer look.

It wasn’t until I had walked completely around the house yelling his name…followed by promises of dad’s belt if he was teasing me…that I really started to panic. Where had this kid gotten off to, and why did he think it was acceptable to go alone?

As the blood began to return to my brain and I was able to breath through the racing heartbeats I could hear pounding in my ears, I had a thought: maybe he’d gone next door for a visit.

And sure enough, there he sat. My four-year old boy, in the middle of the biggest, all-ladies card party in town. Scanning the room for snacks and anything else that happened to look interesting. I was drowning in a pool of exasperation and relief.

It was at that point I decided not to take the simple things for granted. Kids don’t come into the world knowing how to hold open doors or “Knock Before Entering”. They get sidetracked. They chase butterflies. And they want to know why their neighbor has so many cars parked in front of her house. But still, I had to take action.

That afternoon, my boy and I discussed Stranger Danger. We discussed the fact that cartoons are fake and dinosaurs are dead. We talked about the difference between what’s happening on TV and what’s happening in real life.

“So what about those workout people?” he asked. “The ones on your video. Are they all really still right there? They are still doing the same thing!” So many questions, so little time.

From the moment we mothers realize we are expecting, our lives change. For nine months, we make promises and swear oaths that we’ll guide and protect our new, little life if God will just get us through the labor pains. And once we lay eyes on those precious babes, we fall in love. Some of us just never realized what adventures our pride and joy might bring along with them. I guess kids aren’t the only ones to take things for granted.

But in the end, it’s all worth it. The snuggle time and the “Will you read to me’s?” The goodnight hugs and the “I love you’s”. All the joys that sprinkle our days make up for the chaos and confusion our children dole out.

Now if I could just figure out a way to teach them about privacy in the bathroom.

And that’s All in a day’s work!