Is bacon from Zebras? (And other classic, kid questions)

What is worse, having someone ask you if your boys routinely pee in the bushes by the ag building? Or having a parent come tell you that your child (about whom you forgot) is still sitting on the potty at a ballgame waiting for help?

Brisco: Can God whistle?

Brisco: (While sitting at the dinner table) Mom, you have to buy a hallway and put it right there so we can see the TV while we’re eating. You have to!
Me: Oh? And where might I buy a hallway?
Cooper: The mall.
Brisco: Maybe Elk City.
Cooper: Maybe Attwoods.

Brisco: Is Sentinel bigger than Weatherford?
Me: No
Cooper: Is Sentinel bigger than Hobart?
Me: No
Brisco: Is Sentinel bigger than Cordell?
Me: No
Cooper: Sentinel’s bigger than NOTHING!
(later)
Brisco: Is Sentinel bigger than Hammon?
Me: Yes.
Cooper: Oooooh! Alright! Sentinel’s finally bigger than something!
Brisco: Is Sentinel bigger than Lookeba-Sickles?
Me: Yes.
Brisco: Ahh! Two things Sentinel is bigger than!

Cooper: Are there shots in heaven?

Cooper: “Mom, why don’t dad’s know everything?”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Cooper: “Well, you said, ‘Mom’s know everything.’ So why don’t dads?”
Me: “Well, they know most stuff. Mom’s just have to help them out every once in a while.”

After half an hour in the car listening to Cooper’s newest feat…repeatedly whistling the only “tune” he knows (Wheet Wheeoo) I decided to ask: “Coop, you know what it means when you whistle like that?”
Cooper: “No.”
Me: “People usually do it when they see a girl and they think she’s pretty. They whistle like that. And girls don’t usually like it.”
Cooper: (Pondering…refraining…frowning) “Well, they do it on Tom and Jerry?”
Me: “Well, maybe Tom sees a pretty cat and then makes that sound. Here, try this: ‘Wheeoo Wheet!’ That just means, ‘Hey, you!’ Like you are trying to get someone’s attention. Can you do it?”
Cooper: “Wheeoo Wheet! Wheeoo Wheet! Wheeoo Wheet!”
Finally. Singing a new tune.

Cooper: Is bacon from Zebras?
Dad: What?
Cooper: Is eggs from an animal?
Dad: Chickens. What about bologna?
Cooper: Cows.
Dad: What about that meat we had tonight? What’s that?
Cooper: Chicken?
Dad: What about bread?
Cooper: (He sat perplexed. Come on. No trick questions.)
Dad: Bread is made from wheat.
Cooper: What’s wheat come from?
Dad: A plant in the field. What about ham?
Cooper: From a turkey?
Dad: What about a turkey sandwich?
Cooper: Cows!
Dad: And steak?
Cooper: Pigs. Definitely pigs.

And that’s All in a day’s work!