Going to school

We put a lot of thought into whether or not we were ready to send Cooper, our oldest, to school. We’ve been back and forth on both sides of the issue at least a dozen times. I’d say we’ve decided and been undecided for the better part of the last year.

We rationalized and debated our reasons for and against, but it seemed there were good arguments on each side. My mind and my experience told me that he was probably as ready as any four-year old ever is when he walks into a school building for the first time. But my heart just couldn’t seem to accept it.

The day had come, however, and we were forced to make a decision: our boy was going to school.

I guess it’s all pretty normal-dreading the first day of school, worrying about sending our kid off into the real world while he is still so small. I have been against it since his birth almost five years ago, but that’s just the momma in me. It’s a crazy feeling when something that for so long seemed so far away is suddenly staring us right in the face.

Not all parents dread that first day, I suppose. It is possible that some parents look forward to the day their children are old enough to go to school, walking out that door first thing in the morning and returning hours later, full of knowledge and wide-eyed excitement about the new world they’ve discovered. I just can’t seem to get there.

Over the last few months, when someone would ask Cooper if he was ready to start school, he’d say, “No, next year.” He had no idea that next year had gotten here so quickly. Seems he and I were on the same page.

I prepared in my mind how we’d spend our last few days together, and of course little went according to my plan. As it turned out, I would have to be satisfied with a couple of hours of together time before bed on his last night before the big day.

Since little brother had stayed the night with Grandmother, I had Cooper all to myself and decided that before bed, we’d grab some ice cream and retreat to one of our favorite places on earth: the ball field. Unfortunately, batting practice was in the barn that night, so we just borrowed the tailgate of somebody’s pick up and sat outside, enjoying the cool air, the crack of the bat, and a pint of Golden Vanilla.

We only stayed a little while, but it really doesn’t take long to create a memory. Cooper was astonished that we were eating right out of the carton, and he wasn’t about to let one tasty drip escape his lips as he tipped the miniature tub to drink the last, melted bite.

We looked for shapes in the clouds and counted the lightening flashes and talked about his first day of school the next morning.

“What do you think will be the best part?” I asked.

He squinted his eyes and twisted his lips as he searched an empty frame of reference for a suitable answer.

“I think it will be the music,” he said with a big grin. “Yes! You might get to go to Mrs. Warren’s class tomorrow,” I said.

He laughed, and I knew he was taking comfort in knowing he’d be seeing a familiar face, and anticipating what an exciting day tomorrow would be. “She really makes me happy,” he said. And I knew for certain that he meant every word.

When we got home and ready for bed, we laid out his clothes for the next day. He was careful to choose just the right shirt to match his favorite, red shorts, although I had to convince him that he didn’t need to sleep in them first. We packed his school supplies into his new backpack, and everything seemed to be in place.

He asked in his best, big-boy voice if I thought I could maybe lay down with him for a while, and although I had a thousand other things that begged to be done, there wasn’t a chance in a million that I was moving from that spot. But before we turned out the light, I had one more item to pack in his bag. So I gave him his hand-made Hallmark.

He read his name on the outside of a folded 3 x 5 note card. As he opened it up and looked inside, he recognized right off the shape that was drawn in the middle of the page. “It’s a heart! And it looks like a baseball!” he beamed.

“See if you can read it,” I urged him and pointed to the letter at the top of the card. He began, “I… …U”. And he read it like an old pro.

I don’t know if he was really moved by the note or if he was just proud of himself for reading what it said, but he jumped into my arms and gave me a hug and a kiss and wore a colossal grin from ear to ear. A priceless moment for a mom.

“Now this is in case you miss me while you’re at school,” I said. “I’ll put it right here, and if you start to wonder what I’m doing at home, you can read your note and you’ll know!”

That seemed to make all the difference in the world…for me, at least. And he seemed pretty happy about it too because after double checking that it was right where we left it, we turned off the light, laid our heads on the pillow and drifted right off to sleep…with barely a sniffle or a tear.



And that’s All in a day’s work!