The Business of Birth Order

I know there is an official theory that some highly-esteemed psychologist has put forth about birth order, but I’ve never really studied it closely. Maybe because I’m relatively sure what it says, at least about kids from families with two siblings. “The oldest is the responsible, high-achieving, take-care-of-things sibling. The youngest is the somewhat less-responsible, middle-of-the-road, can’t-make-up-their-mind sibling who doesn’t quite have the same drive as the elder.” Or maybe that is what Hollywood says. Either way, the more I watch my two boys, the more I am being forced to acknowledge that maybe it is a little more than just a theory. Maybe there really is something to this business of birth order.

Being the youngest myself, I tend to have avoided anything that could confirm or deny with scientific certainty that there is such a thing as second-child syndrome (be that the name or some other). Now that I’m a mom and I have my own personal lab rats chewing away at my brain daily, I suppose my inclination has been to observe the boys and let their natural tendencies answer my questions concerning the origin and nature of the behavior of young siblings.

For the bad reputations and poor P.R that second children have a propensity to acquire, I tend to believe we were led astray by our best teachers: our siblings. No, as a baby the first child never spit food across the table or screamed at the top of his lungs for no reason, or barked and jerked toys out of someone else’s hands. But he had never witnessed these fine acts by anyone as important or influential as his two year old brother.

The ornery, grin-and-run tendencies of the second offspring, I suspect, are simply moments of bliss when he thinks maybe he might have the opportunity to taunt and tease someone the same way he is used to being harassed and tortured. It seems to bring a smile to his older brother’s face, so it must be worth trying out for himself?

The “no fear” attitude, I have concluded, is developed from a confusion of what is real and what is imaginary. For example, when a little brother sees his big brother using a chair to scale the kitchen cabinet to get to mom’s hidden candy bowl, he decides that it looks real fun and he imagines he will try it out for himself-the next time no one is looking.

The fact that one spanking produces a laugh and a harder spanking produces a harder laugh is simply a result of the tough skin he has developed thanks to the random brotherly beatings that take place in the privacy of the play room, provided by the loving first born.

No, after my own personal observations and consideration, I’m not sure if I really buy into the pre-existing condition of second-child syndrome. While it is clear there is a difference between the first and the second, I think what characterizes us best, in whatever shape or form it may manifest, is the fact that we all have been forced to react and respond to the taunts and irritations of our perceptually perfect siblings. And looking back now, of course, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

And that’s All in a day’s work!

For scientific clarification: This researcher’s older sibling was completely ideal, and the one true phenomena that stood in complete juxtaposition of all other data that was collected.