Dumb Questions

Although I’ve only been a stay at home mother for a short time, the experience has shown me that not everything I was raised to believe is completely accurate. In the last 12 months, I’ve discovered that at least one major truth I’ve been taught all of my life is truly, false.

I’m not sure where this falsehood originated. Probably a well-intentioned Sunday morning sermon, an over-educated educator of some sort, or one of those free-thinking psychologists we often hear about. Whomever the wise guy was who authored the phrase, “There are no dumb questions” you can bet it was not a stay-at-home mother.

As someone who is new to the profession and new to my community, I only frequently encounter other adults, aside from our weekly visits to church. Most of the folks I do meet are practically strangers and are simply taking pity on a frazzled–looking, stroller-pushing crazy woman by trying to make conversation. Most are nice and polite and do their best to chat freely; however, there are a select few whose attempts fail miserably. Thus, the list of “The Dumbest Questions You Can Ask a Stay-at-Home Mom” was born. Here are my top three.

First: “Aren’t you bored?” This is the question that is most often asked by women who are themselves parents but could never envision staying home with their kids. Of course their choice to continue working outside the home is totally acceptable, but the question they pose is not. Usually, from the look on my face alone, the person asking the question can tell that they have committed some sort of faux pas, although they may not be sure quite what. Just to clear up burning question number one, no, there is absolutely no time to be bored.

Second: “So, what is your favorite soap opera?” This highly intellectual question is usually asked by a man who has no clue what all a mother has to do on a daily basis. He has never stayed alone in a room with two small children, much less spent 15 uninterrupted hours taking care of them. He might be the “fun uncle” who plays ball, gives horseback rides, and teaches the kids how to fart with their armpits, but he definitely has no idea what it takes to keep the kids happy and the house running smoothly on a daily basis.

Third: “When are you going to have another kid?” This question is usually asked by someone who has no kids much less a clue about how hard it can be to take care of the two you’ve already got. They will usually stop by three or four times a year, while the kids are sleeping or visiting at grandmother’s house, ask all the right developmental questions about what each kid is doing at their particular age, and ooh and ahh at all the cute pictures that make life with two little kids seem perfect and rosy. (Or of course they could just be an anxious grandparent!)

As for those over-educated educators and free-thinking therapists (of which I count myself among), I know that for children, there really is no such thing as a dumb question. But as for the rest of us…watch out!

And that’s "All in a day’s work!"