Crazy conversations

There are lots of reasons to be glad it is baseball season again. (Although personally, I’d much prefer the weather inside the gym for a couple more weeks.) Our boys, however, don’t seem to have a problem with the cooler temperatures, and as we made our first outing Monday night--against my earnest protests--I remembered one of the biggest reasons I love going to games…our crazy conversations.

Now Blair isn’t that far of a drive, but it’s amazing the chats we can have with our kids when we turn off the radio and simply take the time to listen. Some things, I’ll admit, don’t make me too proud. Others are down right ridiculous. And still others…well, I’ll let you decide.

Cooper: Mom, when are we gonna get a baby?
Me: I didn’t know we had sent off for one.
Brisco: Yeah! When are we gonna get that baby?!
Me: You people are crazy.

Cooper: My favorite word is “Mutasha”.
Me: What does that mean?
Cooper: I don’t know.

Brisco: I wish nothing cost anything.
Me: What?
Brisco: I wish everything was free so nobody would run out of money.
Me: Yeah, that’d be cool.

Cooper: Who’s on the ten dollar bill?
Me: I don’t know. Let me look…it’s Hamilton.
Cooper: How do you know?
Me: It says his name right under his face.

Brisco: How’d we get our food so fast?
Me: I don’t know. I guess it cooked fast. Maybe that’s why they call it “fast food”.
Brisco: Maybe they should call it “free food”.
Me: Yeah. If it really was free, that’d be great.
Brisco: No. They should call it “fast, free food”.
Me: Yeah. Even better.
Brisco: No. They should call it “Fast food. Free food. Just the way you like it.”
Me: Son, I do believe I see a future for you in advertising.

Cooper: My favorite word is “Chihuahua”.
Me: I thought you said your favorite word was “Mutasha”?
Cooper: Oh yeah. My first favorite is “Mutasha”. Then “Chihuahua”.
Me: What does “Mutasha” mean?
Cooper: I don’t know.
Me: Where did you hear it?
Cooper: On the first Star Wars. It’s Spanish.
Me: What? I didn’t know they spoke Spanish on Star Wars. How do you know it’s Spanish?
Cooper: I don’t know. Cause I didn’t know what they were saying. I just like the way it sounds.
Me: It could be any language, you know. There’s lots of them. French. Italian. Wookie.
Cooper: Oh. Well, I don’t know what language it is.
Me: Now, “Chihuahua”? That’s Spanish.

Cooper: I wanna be President, but I don’t wanna die.
Me: Coop, everybody dies sometime. You don’t have to be a President to die. And if you wanna be President some day, you can. You can be anything you want to be.
Cooper: But a girl can’t be President, right?
Me: Uh, no. A girl can most definitely be President.
Brisco: Well that’s dumb!
Me: Excuse me? This “girl” sitting in the front seat might just come back there and box your ears. It is NOT dumb, and girls can do anything boys can do.
Brisco: Na Uh! They can’t be preachers!
Me: Ok. So you got me there. They can’t be preachers.
Brisco: And they don’t have wienies!
Me: Uh, No. They don’t, but what’s that got to do with anything?
Cooper: They can’t pee standing up.
Me: Ok. Right again. You two seem to be missing the point. What I’m trying to say is that if you work hard, you can be anything you want to be.
Cooper: So…if I wanna be a softball player…I can?
Me: (full of sarcasm) Sure, Coop. If you really want to be a softball player, you can.
Cooper: Ha!! No thanks.

(After listening to far too much conversation between the two boys about “poop” and the various forms it might take)
Me: Ok, that’s enough talk about poop.
Brisco: What? No more poopy talk about poop?
Me: Brisco! I’m serious!
Brisco: Ok, poop. Oops. I mean, Sorry.
Me: You guys wanna talk about poop so much, if a baby ever does come to our house, I’m putting you both in charge of changing poopy diapers. We’ll see how much you wanna talk about poop after that.
Cooper: Ooo! No!
Brisco: Oh, Yeah! Poop!

And that’s All in a day’s work!

Conversations with kids after a trip to the museum

Me: What was your favorite part of the museum?
Brisco: The marble game. It was like a pinball machine. The marble was supposed to make music, but I made up a new game. It was fun!
Cooper: I liked the tree house. And the airplanes. And that you could shoot balls out of that one thing (i.e. a catapult). And I liked that me and Brisco could get in the airplanes and pretend to fly them. Oh, and I liked making race cars with dad. AND I liked blowing up stuff! Remember when that guy blew up that big bottle and Brisco started crying?
Me: Did you like that part, B?
Brisco: NO! I hated it! It was too loud! I hate it!
Me: Why don’t you like loud noises?
Brisco: (yelling) I don’t know! Too loud! (Oh, the irony.)

Me: What about the dome? Did you like the movie in the dome?
Cooper: I didn’t like that, ‘cause there wasn’t a movie. Just snow and stuff.
Me: You mean, there wasn’t a story to it?
Cooper: Yeah.
Me: Was there anything about it you liked?
Cooper: Snowboarding and hiking. Not surfing though.
Me: Would you climb a mountain?
Cooper: Yeah. Well, not actually. But I would snow board.
Me: Would you surf with a sail?
Cooper: Yeah, cause they have that stuff that sticks to your feet, and it won’t come off.

Me: What about you, Brisco? Did you like the dome?
Brisco: No
Me: Why?
Brisco: Cause all I liked about it was the snowboarding. That’s all I liked about it.
Me: Would you snowboard?
Brisco: No.
Me: Would you surf?
Brisco: No
Me: Would you ski?
Brisco: What is skiing?
Me: Going down the snowy mountain with two sticks on your feet.
Brisco: NO!

Cooper: I wish we had one of those tree houses at our house.
Me: Well, talk to Dad. Maybe he can build you one.
Brisco: Nah, he can’t.
Me: Why do you say that?
Brisco: Cause he didn’t even finish making the gazebo into a fort. Besides, he just cut down all the trees.

The day after we went to the Omniplex, I took the boys to the Cowboy Hall of Fame for a few hours. Note to self: The Cowboy Hall of Fame should probably have been on the day one agenda. It was not quite as exciting after a day at the Omniplex. However, we were able to provide each other with a few laughs.

“Conversations with my kids about the Cowboy Hall of Fame”
Me: Ok, now when we go in here, we can’t act like morons. It’s big, it’s fancy, and the floors might be slippery. Absolutely No Sliding!
Cooper: Why are the floors slippery?
Me: They are nice and polished. If I remember right, they may be made of marble.
Brisco: (After a moment of thoughtful consideration…) Why would the floors be made of marbles?

Sheriff: Ok, boys. Get in that cell and get comfortable, now. You’ve got a long wait. The circuit judge won’t be in town till next Thursday.
Brisco: (Looking at me with that confused expression on his face) Mom? What’s a circus judge?

Me: What did you like about the Cowboy museum?
Cooper: I liked the kid part where we got to dress up. I liked the cowboy boots.
Brisco: I liked wearing the fringy vest!

Me: What else did you like, Brisco?
Brisco: I liked the old town.
Me: What did you like about it?
Brisco: I liked the jail!
Me: Did you like being locked inside?
Brisco: No!
Me: I need to get one of those for the house. That way when someone is misbehaving, I can just lock them up!
Brisco: Yeah! And I could put my sleeping bag in there and have a camp out!

And that’s All in a day’s work!

A day at the museum

As dad set out for a day of meetings about hitting stances and pitching techniques, the boys and I headed to the museum. The Omniplex, as it used to be called, is quite literally the cupcake dangling in front of a curious child’s nose. It is filled with games and exhibits all designed to teach kids about the wonders of science.

I wasn’t sure if the boys were really old enough to enjoy the new and improved Science Museum Oklahoma, but I thought we’d give it a shot, and who knows, maybe it would inspire one of them to become a scientist or a doctor or even an astronaut (preferably the kind who keeps his feet on the ground).

The boys were curious about our agenda for the day, so I tried to tell them where we were going. But after 500 questions about what was inside and what we would do when we got there, I finally gave up trying to describe a place I hadn’t been since I was a grade-schooler, and decided if I couldn’t explain it, it might not be in their genes to become any of those noble science guys in the first place. Sorry boys. We’ll just have to wait and see.

From the moment we walked in the front door, I heard nothing but shrieks of excitement, as both boys were in awe at what lay before them. They were like pinballs, bouncing from one exhibit to the next. Everything they saw was jaw dropping and elicited that Christmas morning euphoria that caused them to yell at full volume, “Whoa! Awesome!” and “Mom, come look at this!”

They were both immediately overwhelmed by the rocket boosters from the space shuttles that sat near the front of the museum. After oohing and ahhing and snapping a few pics, it was the life-size dinosaur skeleton that grabbed their attention next. The Camarasaurus was pretty amazing, and I was warned several times that it would come to life at night.

“Everything in the museum will come to life at night!” I shuttered, making sure to play along, while assuring both boys that we’d be long gone before the sun went down.

We stopped for a moment at the giant set of human teeth. They were pretty amazed at what they saw, and a little disturbed at just what can happen to someone’s teeth after too much thumb sucking. We’ll see how long their angst holds up.

It was almost impossible to drag Cooper away from the erosion display…not because he is so concerned with solving this global, environmental problem…but because he got to dig in the rocks and the water and use logs to try and build a dam. Even though the water was ice cold, I know he would have stayed there all day if I’d have let him. It was only the promise of experiencing a real, live (simulated) earthquake that finally pulled him away.

Brisco was entranced by the game that experimented with noise...although I suppose the correct scientific word would be “sound”. Either way--not a surprise.

The exhibit was comprised of an empty pinball machine, with various objects made of different materials laying at random spots on the table. When a marble was shot out of the chute, it would hit against the objects as it rolled down the table, making a variety of different sounds.

Now, playing by these rules was fun for a minute, but what really made it interesting was when he lined up the shapes to form a tunnel into which he attempted to shoot that marble. Now this kind of fun (evidently) could last for hours.

It was a day full of firsts—experiences and activities one after another, each seeming better than the one just before. From the house of mirrors to driving the Segway, to experiencing how it feels when the space shuttle re-enters the earth’s atmosphere, that little-boy curiosity that so often gets them into trouble was let loose to run free.

And six hours later, as the time came for us to head back to get dad, they were both still going strong. “Can we go get Daddy and bring him back to see?”

It just goes to show that we never really know what our kids might be ready for. I certainly never would have guessed after eight hours of science that we’d be told by Albert Einstein himself: “The museum is closing, folks. It’s time to call it a day!”

Yes, a day at the museum was just what we needed. And apparently, the boys could not have agreed more because as we were driving home the next day, I overheard one of them say, “We should go to that place at least once every week!”

“Yeah, once every week,” the other chimed in.

And that’s All in a day’s work!