Quotable Quotes

Cooper: Mom, When are you gonna take a shower? You haven’t had a shower in like eight weeks!
Me: Uh, yeah, Cooper, actually I usually take my shower at night when you are in bed.
Cooper: Oh. Thank Goodness!

Brisco: (From the bathroom, yelling at the top of his lungs) I AM DONE! (My signal to go in and help him because he is, well, done.)
Me: Ok, I’m right here.
Brisco: It’s good that I ate those donuts for breakfast. Look! My poop is floating!
Me: So, donuts make your poop float?
Brisco: Yep.
Me: And…that is good?
Brisco: Yep.

Brisco: Look! I’m an old man with a broke leg. “Oh man, I broke my leg!”

Brisco: Cooper, remember how Brady (our cousin) is scared of pump jacks?
Cooper: Huh?
Brisco: At night on the trampoline at Granma’s.
Cooper: (Looking totally bewildered)
Brisco: No, wait. Jumping Jacks…No, Bo Jacks. That’s it.
Cooper: What are Bo Jacks?
Brisco: I don’t know. They only come out at night and they have horns or something like deer. Granddaddy said, “Look out for Bo Jacks.”
Cooper: Hmm.
Brisco: They sleep in the day and come out at night. I kinda think Granddaddy’s just kidding about them.

Me: (Tripping on yet another Star Wars toy as I walk into the living room) Why is this thing in the middle of the floor?!
Brisco: Sit down before you fall down!
Me: (Hands on hips, shooting daggers in his direction)
Brisco: Ha! Ha! Mom! That’s what they say on Indiana Jones. “Sit down before you fall down!”

Brisco: (While watching an infomercial on TV) I’d take that Chef Basket, would you?
Me: Yeah, I’d take it.
Brisco: Yeah. I’d take two. But I wouldn’t take that sharp knife.
Me: Yeah, that’s probably smart.

Grandmother: (Laying out school clothes for the following day, including clean underwear)
Cooper: I don’t change my underwear every day.
Grandmother: Oh?
Cooper: No. Just every three days. Maybe every five days. Momma lets me.
Me: (From three states away) What? Good grief. Do NOT tell anyone he said that!

And that’s All in a day’s work!