A child’s concept of time

“What time will Daddy be little?” A strange question to most, but not to a mom. It’s just one of the countless quandaries our little ones throw our way every day. Questions to which we really don’t have an appropriate answer. Questions that don’t even make much sense in the mind of most. But then it registers just who it is who’s doing the asking, and we’ll almost kill ourselves trying to come up with an informative and responsible answer.

I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind when my youngest boy says it. “Mommy, when you grow up, are you gonna be a little girl?” It seems logical to him. I have to remind myself though, that he doesn’t understand “later” or “tomorrow” or even “just a minute!” Why on earth would he understand the cycle and sequence of human life?

A child’s concept of time is something that is only truly understood by the little people themselves. First, for us, came the stage where everything in the past happened “yesterday”. A birthday that was last year. A visit to grandma’s last month. Kirk Gibson’s game winning home run in the 1988 World Series. All “yesterday”.

Not only did the past perplex us, but the future held it’s own set of problems. It took me a while to learn that we don’t talk about events that are to come until about 10 minutes before they are scheduled to take place. Otherwise, the count down of “days till we go” or “Is today the day” of whatever we’re planning will send a parent straight to the nuthouse. Surprise them. That’s what I say.

I first noticed that my boys were confused about the notion of time when I would lay them down for a nap. I’d explain that we needed to rest because “Daddy has a ballgame today.” Cooper would always get so upset. I couldn’t understand it until he finally blubbered, “If you make us go to bed, we’ll miss Daddy’s game!” It seemed to him that each time he went to bed was the end of that day and the beginning of “tomorrow“. I was starting to understand his frustration.

Brisco still has a hard time understanding why he has to go to bed when the sun is still up. “But Mom, It’s a sunny day!” he’ll protest. Yes, this passing of time thing is a notion that’s almost impossible for my children to grasp.

The most entertaining and noteworthy conversations I’ve had about the passing of time, however, always seem to come in the form of questions.

Cooper: “Mom, what time will you get married?”
I explained how the whole marriage thing works-edited for a four year old, of course-that his dad and I were married before he was born and then years later along he came, and he stared at me for a moment, I assumed taking it all in-processing every word. After a short pause, he said, “Now, what does all that mean?”

On another occasion, concerning the same topic:
Cooper: “I love you every day!”
I responded in kind, with a big hug and smooch on the cheek. To this he responded: “I want to get married to you!” Seeing the two of us laughing and wanting to get in on the action himself, Brisco added, “I want to be married to Cooper and you!” And after getting such a big laugh with that, he added, “I want to be married to Cooper and Daddy and you!” Then, just as quickly as the thought popped into his brain he spouted, “Hey, Mom! What time will you have a wife?” Anything for a laugh. That’s my boy.

I was sitting at the computer one day while the boys were outside playing ball. Brisco came in the back door, head hanging, arms lying limply at his sides. He was looking rather dejected. He sulked up next to me at the desk where I was sitting and said in his most pathetic three year old voice, “Maaahom. It’s taking too long.” I decided to bite. “For what, sweetie?” He replied, still moping, “For me to be the Daddy.” “What? Are you kidding? Slow down there, Buddy!” I teased. But I could see he was not moving. And he was not kidding.

I turned to him and asked, “Why do you wanna be the Daddy so soon?” He responded through his big, smile and with his crinkled up nose, “Because it will be fun!” I gave him a big hug, all the while thinking to myself, “Yeah, kid, it’s gonna be fun. Fun for me, watching you raise a little Brisco!”

I guess that’s a testament to the light in which he sees his own Daddy. Or maybe he just likes the idea of being on the other side of the belt. Either way, it’s another example of the confusion created when kids start contemplating the passing of time.

Kids can come up with the craziest questions. “When Martha grows up, will she be a little girl?” Seems silly, right? Makes no sense? I don’t know. I think somehow they might be on to something. I kinda like the idea of growing younger every day. Maybe a child’s concept of time isn’t so crazy after all.

And that’s All in a day’s work!