Life’s little moments: An adaptation

We have a satellite radio in our car, and I’ve recently found that I’ve become addicted to XM Comedy. There are six or seven stations that have nothing but stand up comedians playing back to back, doing their bit, and performing for a live audience of one escaping Mommy driving alone down the highway.

On one of my drives, I heard a spiel by George Carlin about life’s little moments. He talked about the things that happen in life that bring huge embarrassment, but simply cannot be helped. Things like finding yourself in a serious social situation when you suddenly realize you have to give your underwear a little tug. Or, while having a conversation with someone, you and laugh through your nose and blow snot on your shirt. Life’s little moments. That’s what he called them.

And I thought to myself, “Who has more of these uncomfortable moments than a mom?” So I decided to make a list.

1. Oldest child pulling down his pants in the middle of a crowd of people at a District Baseball Tournament.
2. Youngest child, after becoming intrigued with the female anatomy, goes around squeezing ladies’ “tummies”. Life’s little moments.
3. Oldest child discussing the shape of his poop in Bible class.
4. Youngest child playing with poop in the back yard.
5. Oldest child throwing a bawling fit because he got tagged out at first base.
6. Youngest child would rather hit the dog with his bat than worry about hitting a baseball. Life’s little moments.
7. Oldest child licking his food off the table at a greasy, Interstate McDonald’s.
8. Youngest child eating enough chicken and fries to feed an army and thirty minutes later…“I’m hungry.”
9. Oldest child finds something on the tree in the back yard that looks like a mushroom, so he eats it. “Cause I like mushrooms!”
10. Youngest child opens the classroom door into the auditorium during church and shouts, “Maahhmeee! I need to go poop!” Life’s little moments.

And that’s All in a day’s work!