Why God made moms

I’ve always admired elementary school teachers. They perform some of the most important jobs on earth with some of the most unpredictable clients known to man.

At the beginning of the school year, their product is perfect in design; however, each design is uniquely different. All of their precious goods come from different factories and have their own unique packaging. They each have a pre-programmed performance mechanism that they as the teacher are responsible for shaping and developing into a top of the line commodity.

Some clients walk in the door groomed to the nines, already experts in the necessities of life, like tying their shoes and wiping their own bottoms. Others are more timid and unseasoned, a bit frightened by the many tasks and adventures that lie ahead in this place called “school”.

But some way, some how, these leaders, these shapers of our children’s minds accept the task as hand. They teach each child-different as they are-their letters, their numbers, their colors and their names. They teach them to count and to read, to sing and to play ball.

And in the midst of all this, they have time to ask thought provoking questions of our little wonders. Some questions to which we as adults may take for granted having always known the answers. And others that we just might have been afraid to ask.

So to all the creators and shapers of young minds who do their jobs for the children and because they love it, the answers to the following questions will come as no surprise. From someone who admires and respects the job they do, thanks for asking the questions.

“Why God Made Moms”
Answers given by 2nd grade school children

1. Why did God make mothers?
-She’s the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
-Mostly to clean the house.
-To help us out of there when we were getting born.

2. How did God make mothers?
-He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
-Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
-God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

3. Of what ingredients are mothers made?
-God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
-They had to get their start from men’s bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

4. Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
-We’re related.
-God knew she likes me a lot more than other people’s moms like me.

5. What kind of little girl was your mom?
-My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
-I don’t know because I wasn’t there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
-They say she used to be nice.

6. What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
-His last name.
-She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
-Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

7. Why did your mom marry your dad?
-My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
-She got too old to do anything else with him.
-My grandma says that Mom didn’t have her thinking cap on.

8. Who’s the boss at your house?
-Mom doesn’t want to be boss, but she has to because dad’s such a goof ball.
-Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
-I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

9. What’s the difference between moms and dads?
-Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
-Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
-Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power ‘cause that’s who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend’s.
-Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.

10. What does your mom do in her spare time?
-Mothers don’t do spare time.
-To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

11. What would it take to make your mom perfect?
-On the inside she’s already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
-Diet. You know, her hair. I’d diet, maybe blue.

12. If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
-She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I’d get rid of that.
-I’d make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
-I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

And that’s All in a day’s work!