Pet Peeves

Like most people, I get a lot of junk in my email. But every so often I receive a message that is not only interesting and funny, but also completely applicable to life as a parent.

Some time ago, a friend of mine sent me a list of the Top Ten Pet Peeves that Dogs have about Humans. Now this was funny. Especially for those who have dogs in the house. But for those who have kids in the house…well, it was priceless.

I’d love to give the author of this top ten list credit, but like so many emails, the originator remains anonymous. I’ve taken the liberty of adapting it to fit the lives of all the animals that live at our house, both the four-legged and the two-legged kind. Enjoy!

Top Ten Pet Peeves that Kids (and Dogs) Have about Parents

10. Yelling at me for crying (or barking)…I’m just a baby (dog), you idiot!

9. Blaming your toots on me...not funny... not funny at all!

8. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

7. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose or performing for your friends...stop it!

6. Any haircut that involves ribbons, bows, or clippers. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not looking.

5. The sleight-of-hand, fake-fetch, you-want-some-of-this-candy-I’ve-got-right-here trick. You fooled a toddler/dog. Whoooo Hoooooooo. What a proud moment for the grown up (and the top of the food chain).

4. How you act disgusted when I give you one of those really wet kisses. Now who was it that taught me that trick?

3. Taking me to the doctor for shots (or “the big snip”), then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

2. Getting upset when I sniff at and slobber on your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

1. Pooping on the floor. It’s instinct. God created me to squat, grunt, and let ’er rip. You’re the one who left me unclothed (and in the house) too long.

Now lay off on some of these things. We both know who’s boss around here. You don’t see me cleaning up your poop do you?

And that’s All in a day’s work!