A year in review

I don’t send Christmas cards. Not because I’m a Scrooge, but because I’m cheap. I never could find the kind of cards to send that I thought matched our personalities. Those were the high-dollar cards that could only be special ordered at least six months in advance. I always ended up buying some dollar store mark down that was printed with a cheesy, grammatically incorrect holiday saying that was on sale because there was a word printed upside down. Or else they were just really boring. I decided to quit altogether, and it is a good thing because Christmas cards are just one more item that would have gone on the list of things I stopped doing when I became a mom.

I’m always impressed by those who faithfully send out Christmas cards, year after year. I’m even more impressed with those who have a picture made to put on those cards. But the folks who impress me the most are those who take the time to write a letter to include with their picture and their season’s greetings. Some people call it their year in review. Clearly, as a person who doesn’t make time to send Christmas cards I will most certainly not have time for writing a year in review…but if I did, it might go something like this:

Smith Family Year in Review 2007

Season’s greetings to all. We hope this finds everyone feeling well and enjoying the frigid weather. Since it turned cold, we’ve all been fighting the snotty-nose drainage and that pesky anal leakage that comes with the yearly diarrhea bug that’s been going around again. We’re all about to get over it now, except for the horrific diaper rash it caused on the baby and the chaffing it left on, well, someone who wishes to remain nameless.

The past year has been both a blessing and a curse in so many ways. On January 1, Randy and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. I can’t remember where we were or what we did, but I think surely we spent at least part of the day together. January 10th marked the day our littlest one spoke his first word, “cracker”. We were so moved by the child’s truly sentimental nature. We celebrated a first tooth, learning to play catch, and giving kisses.

February marked Cooper’s discovery of “pooth taste” and his daily ritual of seeing how much of that squishy stuff he could eat before throwing up. He also received a special singing potty from his great-grandmother and made his first, and only, deposit. It’s true; we have pictures to prove it.

March was a big month for us. Cooper learned to hit a ball in motion. He now prefers hitting a pitched ball to one that just sits on a T. He is getting stronger, and he has such a quick bat. We are thinking of signing him up for winter little league. Oh yeah, and Brisco had his first birthday and also learned to walk.

April was a big month for high school baseball games and tournaments, and Opening Day for the Yankees was April 1. I kinda lost track of anything else.

May marked the end of school ball and the beginning of summer ball. We had Randy all to ourselves for a whole 10 days. Brisco continued to cut new teeth, and somehow he learned to perfect a funny little fish face. I’ll never know how he was able to suck in those huge cheeks!

Summer time was upon us, bringing the excitement of the Fourth of July and lots of opportunities for family gatherings and ball games in the yard. We prepared for late nights at the ball park, and anticipated the coming of Vacation Bible School.

Somewhere in the next few months, we endured playing in the rain, peeing in the pool, and the death of one of our dogs. We watched and listened to our kids repeat and mimic both our words and our actions at the most inopportune times and in the most unforgettable places. We chased boys over and across every baseball diamond in seven counties. We endured Sunday mornings, naked Tuesdays, and black Friday. We were blessed with family and friends who shared their lives and their love with our two boys, and for that we are so very thankful.

Over the past year, we have learned so much about our family and about being parents. We’ve learned that in this family, we all have a position to play. We’ve learned that you can lose two little boys in your own house, and if you leave the gate open, you better hope you have a helpful “neighborhood watch association”. We’ve learned that Black Fridays aren’t as uncommon as one might believe. We’ve learned that a parent can’t be too proud or she just might end up raising that kid, ‘cause heaven knows she’s already got her hands full. We’ve learned that you can’t rush nature. Singing potty or no singing potty; they’ll go when they’re ready. We’ve learned that life is full of crust; but if we have the guts to go for it, the good stuff will be our reward.

And above all, we’ve learned that sometimes in life, there’s nothing better than a little prayer, a little pillow talk, and knowing mom will let you lick the spoon.

And that’s our year in review.

The happiness of the holidays

I’ve been looking forward to the holidays for a while now. Our boys are at the age when everything is exhilarating and awe inspiring. They’ve both experienced at least one Christmas, but the memories of it have long since faded. So this year, everything will be fresh, exciting and new.

The boys have been enjoying looking at Christmas lights for several weeks now. We drive around town and each of them gets excited when the lights can be seen out “My side!” of the car window. Brisco calls them "Pissy Heights," but we know what he's saying, and he absolutely knows what he’s seeing.

We don't have a tree yet, but I’ve hung lights up in the living room, and that seems to be good enough for now. I'm pretty sure they don’t have the self control to keep from unwrapping any presents I might put out, so I may save myself the hassle of screaming at them every 10 minutes and just leave them for Santa to bring.

Speaking of Santa, both the boys seem to have a phobia of the old man in red. We’ve tried a couple of times to go sit on Santa’s lap, but the kids freeze up. They hide behind my legs and under my arms-anywhere to get out of Santa’s sight. They’ve got a real, live case of the scaredy-Claus.

We made a trip to K-Mart on Saturday and who should we see sitting in the aisle but ole Saint Nick himself. The boys both started to duck and cover, but this Santa was a pro. He had a bowl of candy sitting beside him, and he told the boys if they would come and sit on his lap they could have some. All Brisco had to hear was the word candy and he was ready to go, just for the chance at one little nibble…so much for the ole “don’t take candy from strange men” mantra. Needless to say, we now have pictures of both of the boys sitting on Santa’s lap, while he entices them with a big, blue bowl of candy. Priceless.

They both like the idea of Rudolph and the elves and all the other reindeer. We’ve watched the old Burl Ives version of Rudolph, and we are still trying to catch Frosty the Snowman. They don’t know there’s something called animatronics or computer animation or high definition television that can make Santa and his sleigh look as if it is coming right out of our set and into our living room. They are perfectly satisfied with seeing Christmas the same way we did as kids.

They don't really understand that there are presents coming either, but they will soon enough. These early years are the best, when kids are excited just to tear off the paper and play with the box. I remember one Christmas when my now-grown cousin opened every present with the exact same enthusiasm an adult would have shown after winning the lottery. “Look, Mom!! It’s socks!!” Top of the lungs; huge smile; proud as you please. Next year that same cousin will celebrate Christmas with his new baby, and the joy of the season will continue.

I look forward to the next few weeks as a time to share the exciting “firsts” of the holidays with our boys. After all, there are only so many things that can become truly new once children reach a certain age.

The happiness that comes with the holiday season is the tradition I hope the boys will remember most. It starts with the people we love and hold dear. It reaches far beyond presents and postcards and pictures of Santa. Yes, the happiness of the holidays is our most important Christmas first, and the one I hope my children will treasure.

Happy Holidays

Pet Peeves

Like most people, I get a lot of junk in my email. But every so often I receive a message that is not only interesting and funny, but also completely applicable to life as a parent.

Some time ago, a friend of mine sent me a list of the Top Ten Pet Peeves that Dogs have about Humans. Now this was funny. Especially for those who have dogs in the house. But for those who have kids in the house…well, it was priceless.

I’d love to give the author of this top ten list credit, but like so many emails, the originator remains anonymous. I’ve taken the liberty of adapting it to fit the lives of all the animals that live at our house, both the four-legged and the two-legged kind. Enjoy!

Top Ten Pet Peeves that Kids (and Dogs) Have about Parents

10. Yelling at me for crying (or barking)…I’m just a baby (dog), you idiot!

9. Blaming your toots on me...not funny... not funny at all!

8. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

7. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose or performing for your friends...stop it!

6. Any haircut that involves ribbons, bows, or clippers. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you’re not looking.

5. The sleight-of-hand, fake-fetch, you-want-some-of-this-candy-I’ve-got-right-here trick. You fooled a toddler/dog. Whoooo Hoooooooo. What a proud moment for the grown up (and the top of the food chain).

4. How you act disgusted when I give you one of those really wet kisses. Now who was it that taught me that trick?

3. Taking me to the doctor for shots (or “the big snip”), then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

2. Getting upset when I sniff at and slobber on your guests. Sorry, but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

1. Pooping on the floor. It’s instinct. God created me to squat, grunt, and let ’er rip. You’re the one who left me unclothed (and in the house) too long.

Now lay off on some of these things. We both know who’s boss around here. You don’t see me cleaning up your poop do you?

And that’s All in a day’s work!